Ahead is a collection of a roleplay log between Rueme and xKimikox, detailing the fact that Ayre and Mei's relationship isn't all as perfect as it may seem. The story is set approximately 100 years in the past, just as a war between Elavernis, Alora, and Lumeria has ended. After Elavernis leaders staged a coup against their God to take control of the country, they immediately attacked Alora to try and gain control, but were soon defeated when Lumeria joined in the efforts to fight back and reclaim Ilquinis' country back from these traitors. This roleplay focuses more on the effect this event had on Ayre and Mei, and their relationship as a whole. Roleplay posts are separated by a dash for easier reading between characters.
The Argument - Chapter 1
The meeting in Lumeria was on a brief hiatus, the war room having become too stifled with shouts and yells from one of her leaders and, even more surprising, the God of Summer himself, to even progress effectively. Needless to say, Mei was livid. The baseless accusations that were being thrown around were enough to make her red in the face, embarrassed.
As her leader stomped off in a fit, Mei had found her arms crossed across her chest, glaring daggers into her boyfriend's eyes before sharply asking him to meet her outside, long hair whipping around almost dangerously as she turned to exit into the hallway.
A million and one thoughts were going through her head right now, most of them weighed down with the stress of the war and the anger she was experiencing. Her ears and tail showed that of irritation, something she had tried to prevent from happening too much as the weather was rather unpleasant when she was. Already she could see the dark clouds growing darker and heavier with what looked like hail.
She didn't even wait for the phoenix to close the door before she continued, "What was THAT all about?"
While normally a rather kind and quiet man, Ayre's mood had taken a harsh plummet. His eyes were narrowed in anger as they watched the Lumerian leader storm out of the room, and even Mei's sharp summons did nothing to calm his fiery temper. That man
Ayre had been watching him carefully ever since he'd been appointed as one of the new leaders who would serve Lumeria, and honestly? He hadn't liked what he'd seen. Normally he wouldn't worry too much, but the odd glances Ayre had seen the Chimera shoot in Mei's direction when he'd thought no one had been looking had sent the God's warning signals screaming.
This tense observation of the other man had continued during each of his visits to the cold country, though he'd been forced to stop due to the recent war. Of course, Ayre had other things to worry about then, but being in that room with the foul man at such a short distance away just brought all the suspicions back, and Ayre had snapped
though, maybe in a more aggressive manner than he'd expected. The Chimera had sent yet another predatory glance towards Mei, and Ayre hadn't been able to stop his fists slamming down on the table in retaliation. Almost instantly he'd began a rather dramatic shouting match with the Chimera, though while it had been mostly about the war, the Phoenix hoped it'd also serve as a reminder that he was something to watch out for, at least when it came to Mei.
Now though, facing Mei's apparent wrath at his behaviour in the meeting caused Ayre's anger to wither a bit in submission. Guilt was beginning to creep around the burning flame of rage, and his eyes immediately fell to the floor though a deep frown remained on his face. Why was he feeling guilty though? For upsetting her, of course. It must have been hard to see him like that. Though she'd definitely understand his actions once he explained it to her, and Mei would realise what had happened. Then they could do something about this man. Firing him from his post would be a good start!
That man. I-" He twisted his lips into a fierce scowl. "I don't like him, Mei."
"You don't like him? Ayre, he's the one who started the turning point to this whole war. He's my best captain and he has saved hundred, no, THOUSANDS of lives! What exactly is it about him that you don't like? If anything, we should be extremely grateful."
Her tail was swaying rigidly from side to side, ears still on point, "He's been nothing but faithful to me...to Lumeria. If you expect me to be rid of him just because 'you don't like him,' then you will be sorely disappointed." She gave a rather irritated sigh, turning to look back out of the window, "I can't...even look at you right now, Ayre. You've embarrassed him and in hindsight, have also made Lumeria look foolish."
The thought of being so severely embarrassed made her eyes tear up, "I hope you have more to say than just that. For your sake." Her fingernails were practically digging into the skin of her arm now, more to stop herself from crying than anything.
His eyes widened. Oh no, he'd screwed this up already. B-but, why wasn't Mei worried about the man
surely she'd noticed the glances too?
"Wha- No! Of course I'm grateful for his services during the war! But- This is different!"
He moved towards the window in an attempt to get her to look at him again and re-enter her range of sight. All rage was now gone. Instead it was replaced by a desperate type of worry. The fact that this was upsetting her so greatly to bring tears in her eyes made his heart whimper and his hands shake.
Ayre reached out and attempted to place his palm on her cool shoulder, as if to try and comfort her. "I don't like the way he looks at you, Mei. I'm just worried, that's all!"
"Worried? Worried about WHAT?" She flinched away from his touch, her eyes wide with anger, tears threatening to spill down her face, "Worried I might give in to temptation? That I might SLEEP with him when you aren't around?"
The thought that Ayre might not trust her was almost as horrible as how she had felt before, if not even more-so, "He's a good man, Ayre, and he wouldn't try anything. Hurt me, tempt me, he hasn't yet and he never will. You don't even /know/ him!"
For some reason, she felt like she was younger again. Vulnerable, quick to react to the silliest thing...but it was too late. The paranoia had gripped her and now she was running with it, "I would think you'd trust me more than that, Ayre!"
He looked at his hand as if it had been burned. She'd flinched away from him. From *him*. W-what was going on? This wasn't right at all. Why"No! That's not what I meant! Mei-"
It was almost instinctual that he meet her rage with his own, though the last thing he wanted was to shout at her. Perhaps he'd never fully regained himself after snapping at the Chimera man, but he found his voice rising as it had back in the meeting. Loud and strong, Ayre's normally soft words boomed around the small hallway, his fists now clenched by his sides. He wanted to hit something that man would be a good start.
"It's not him I'm worried about! It's YOU! He may be a good man in some respects, butThe way he looks at you. At times he looks like he wishes to hurt you, Mei! I don't care about how many people he's saved. If you're the one in danger, then I'm damn well going to do something about it! This isn't about our trust of course I trust you this is about making sure I can leave you with Leaders that you'll be safe with!" Surely she would understand now
"Then you don't trust my judgement? And you must think I'm utterly helpless, not capable of taking care of myself." Ayre's rising voice was not at all helping the situation, the elevation of her own apparent as well, "You're completely over-reacting and this hostility is NOT something we need right now." She huffed, "They say jealousy brings out the worst in people, Ayre...and I think that's exactly what's going on here."
After the attack on Alora, the strain of their relationship was bound to come up. She could have felt bad for him but right now, she was too angry to see reason, "You're jealous that he's always in Lumeria, constantly by my side while you're stuck here in Alora, halfway across Voleros....well what can you possibly expect? We're gods, we have no choice! Taking out on someone who is guiltless is a bad way to go about it, and quite frankly, I'm not going to tolerate it any longer. /FIND/ a way to cope with it, because he isn't leaving any time soon."
"O-of course you can take care of yourself. I don't doubt that- You proved it well enough in the war. But you saw what happened to Ilqui! He was drugged and hidden way by his own Leaders! It was at no fault of his own, and we know how powerful he is, but it happened anyway, and what's to say it couldn't happen to you too! I see the way that man looks at you, Mei!" He growled under his breath, hating the very thought of it.
"This is not jealousy, it's worry! Don't tell me you're too blind to see the way he looks at you. It's obvious enough to me, and I don't even live here!"
So maybe he was a little jealous. Okay, maybe a LOT jealous but only because he wasn't able to live so close to Mei like that man was. But if he stayed, he didn't want to think of the consequences that would fall on both of their countries... It wasn't fair.
"I want to be able to return to Alora with a peaceful mind knowing that he won't be able to hurt you, and if that means I'll have to deal with him myself, then so be it!"
The thought that such deviousness could be in her ranks was more than she could handle, "I. See. JUST. Fine." Thunder could be heard clearly on the outskirts of the country, Mei's face contorted with incredulousness, "If you lay so much as a finger on him, Ayre, so help me."
It was an empty threat, seeing as she wouldn't dream about hurting him, but she had just about enough of this nonsense, "I have no reason whatsoever to doubt his loyalty. He has served Lumeria for nearly fifteen years now and I can only hope that little fiasco in there doesn't send him angrily off into another country. He is my friend, and GODS know how many of those we can really have!"
Ayre winced a bit, that really wasn't he'd been trying to say at all. Obviously he wasn't explaining himself very well, so he tried for a slightly different route. "Of course you can have friends. I'm not trying to stop you from that."
Although mortals would just fade away eventually, Ayre knew how precious they were while they were alive, and how much all of the Gods valued their friendship, but
It was different when a 'friend' looked like they just wanted to take advantage. That man just didn't settle well with Ayre, and the looks Mei received from the Chimera just settled Ayre's doubts.
"I just want you to stay safe, that's all! And I hardly think he's a safe person to be around, even if he's some sort of Lumerian hero! For all you know, he could've been just doing all those things to gain your trust before he used it to his advantage."
Mei let out an exaggerated sigh, turning her back to him and walking once more to the window. She wasn't at all in the mood for this and to make matters worse, everyone was piling back into the meeting room to continue the meeting, "We'll continue this after the meeting, Ayre...I need some time to think about what I'd like to say."
Thunder continued to roll outside of the building, Mei face looking somewhat distant and...unreadable. Without so much as giving him a glance, she made her way back into the meeting room to stand next to her Chimera commander, making sure not to look at him as well. She was stressed, she was tired...and this was not something she wanted to deal with right now.
With a harsh frown and feeling rather ignored, Ayre reluctantly followed her into the meeting room and moved away from her to stand with his own worried looking Aloran leaders. They shot him confused looks as he glared not so secretly at the Chimera, once again not liking how close he was to Mei
even though it was her who had moved towards him. He didn't appreciate the fact that she'd almost completely ignored his warnings and gone to the other man anyway
in fact, he couldn't help but feel rather angry about it. But for now, he'd stay silent. He decided to *try* not to argue as violently with the other man for the rest of the meeting, if only for Mei's sake. But trying was all he'd do. If the man pulled something he didn't like, Ayre knew he wouldn't be afraid to lash out again.
Needless to say, the rest of the meeting had an air of tension heavily weighing onto it, Mei letting her Chimera leader do most of the talking for her. In fact, her heart wasn't at all in it. For the most part she stared down at the table almost deep in thought, wondering how exactly she would word her news. In fact...she may have even looked somewhat sad as she sat at the war table, never once speaking up unless she had to. Thirty minutes later, the meeting would end with her not even knowing what had even been talked about, a melancholy sort of mood having overcome her. She dismissed her commander to wait for her outside, looking rather exhausted while leaning rather heavily onto the doorway. Her head hurt, her whole body hurt...but it was nothing compared to how much her chest hurt at the moment. She would wait for Ayre, tail hanging low and ears dropping a bit at her thoughts. It would all be for the best in the end...
For Ayre, the rest of the meeting had him on edge, his eyes constantly flicking from the Chimera (who wouldn't stop TALKING. Man, even his *voice* irritated Ayre.) to Mei, who frankly
looked awful. He felt like this heart was stuck in his throat at seeing such a down trodden expression on her pale face
and Ayre was agonized to know that he was the one who'd put it there. For a good reason of course, but he only wished that she'd taken his worries somewhat easier. It seemed that she really did like the other man
which honestly only made Ayre feel worse. When the meeting ended, he took the hint and waited as the other members in the room filed out slowly, his eyes locked on the other man's form as he too left. He watched the door close with a bit of a glare, and then stood up to make his way over to his love.
With a heavy sigh, he reached up to touch her hair in an attempt to comfort. "Mei,"
"I think we need to reconsider our relationship, Ayre."
Oh...God that hurt. She had told herself she'd say it as soon as possible, to get it out of the way, but no. It just...hurt. Her throat had tightened up immediately after, her chest feeling like someone was holding it in a clamp. She had to regain herself before continuing, feeling like someone had just punched all the air from out of her lungs, "I think...our dating is only affecting our duties as Gods...and distracting us from what it is we should really be focusing on."
She couldn't even look at him knowing that if she did, she would probably start crying. It was for the best...at least, she would keep telling herself that. Even as she spoke, she could feel the wavering in her voice, "So...I'm breaking up with you." It was for the best..
His hand instantly flinched away from her as if she'd slapped it, his expression falling into one of disbelief. Some part of him quickly rationalized her words into some sort of cruel joke. Something to get back at him for speaking his mind and actually standing up to her so stubbornly for once, maybe. He'd always been rather submissive not just for her but for others around him too and this was just a reminder as to *why* he normally didn't challenge any of her choices. But this man had taken it too far. He'd wanted the Chimera away. Away so he couldn't hurt her like he so obviously looked like he wanted to.
But now? What was left now? If she was serious about this, then what would he do? There was no way he'd just go back home with his head held low, he'd never forgive himself if he did. But
if this if *he* - was making her this upset, then maybe it was for the best.... as much as it hurt Ayre to admit it. Maybe all his worries about not being good enough, *strong* enough, were true, and this was the result?
His throat worked as he tried to figure out what to say, leaving them in nothing but tense silence for a while. Until finally he managed to croak out a single word, shivering and as unstable as his heart was. "No."
Mei let out a small but rather bitter laugh. No? It was probably the first time he'd ever said that to her. She still couldn't bring herself to look at him, "I'm sorry you disagree, but we have jobs to do, Ayre. We can't do that efficiently if...we're constantly worrying about each other."
At this point, her mouth was practically on auto pilot. No, her whole body. Her consciousness had receded back into the depths of her own mind, letting her body do what it needed to do. Everything was just...numb, "I'm leaving now...so don't follow me." She turned to leave, practically trying to find the will to breathe again. This wasn't right...so why was she doing it?
"W-wait!" He cried out towards Mei's retreating form, reaching out to grab a hold of her wrist in order to halt her and stop her from walking away like this.
Ayre's face betrayed the fact that he was very close to tears his brows furrowed deeply and eyes watering, mouth twisted in a pathetic kind of scowl. Just like she did, he knew this wasn't right. She'd said it was because of duty, but how would he be able to stay strong enough to take care of an entire country without her supporting him? She was like his rock. Strong and stable, someone who did not suffer the draining clutches of age and death, and who he'd always thought would stay by his side. She'd always done her best to look after him and keep a smile on his face, but now? He couldn't even imagine bringing it back. Not without her. They'd been perfect together, before- and so happy.
The war had put a strain on things as it naturally would, but it was over now, and things were meant to go back to normal. They were meant to be happy again. And happy Gods meant happy countries. If she wanted what was best for Lumeria, then wouldn't she want them to stay together and stay happy? Without her, Ayre doubted he'd be able to cope with the pressures of looking after Alora and watching his mortal friends die around him like they were bound to do. He felt
abandoned, like he wasn't good enough, and yet he still had no idea what he'd done wrong. He'd just been trying to help her and keep her safe, like she did for him.
"Y-youPlease don't do this, Mei. I was only worried about you! I don't want him to hurt you, that's all! We focused so well on our duties while together
I don't understand what's made you change your mind! If I did something wrong, tell me so I can try and fix it, alright? I'll try and make you feel better, so please
Please don't go."
His warm hand on her wrist...it was now just a painful reminder of what she would be leaving. Tears stung at her eyes, her breath somewhat ragged and uneven. The storm outside was getting worse, the hail that threatened to fall earlier now falling heavily against the rooftops and tiling of houses. She didn't say anything for a good while, the sound outside getting louder and louder with each passing second. It wasn't until the sound had grown to an almost deafening roar that she would turn around, tears streaming down her face and her lips upturned into a small albeit pained smile.
In all honesty he probably couldn't hear it over the sound outside. She went to pull her wrist from out of his hand, time seemingly slowing down as her fingertips brushed his briefly, turning again to walk away and never once looking back.
A pained smile moved over her face, and her mouth moved as if to say something, but her voice was drowned out by the agonized weather outside. Ayre stood and did nothing as she walked away, his now over flowing eyes staring blankly at the storm outside through a nearby window. His mind had withered into something like shock, and his body hadn't caught up to realize what had just happened. It was only until it was too late, and she was gone, that Ayre finally snapped his head up to send wide and panicked eyes in the direction she'd been. Seeing that he was now very much alone, he finally broke, shoulders heaving with his first pained sob in a long time. He quickly hid his face with a palm, letting his other arm wrap around his waist like he wished Mei's would. Not that she would ever hold him again, now that they were
Oh, it hurt so much to even think that. But what could he do? If she wanted so badly to be rid of him, then he wouldn't struggle. It was obvious that he was causing her pain in some way, and he'd never want to magnify it by fighting against her decision. Ayre only wanted for her to be happy, and if this would make her happy, then he would leave her be. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be alright again, though. He felt like he'd just lost a huge part of himself, and in a way, he had.
Perhaps this was meant to be. Perhaps he had never deserved her. Maybe one day he'd be fine again, but he doubted it wouldn't be for a long time yet.